How do overweight people compare themselves to the rest of the world? Do they see it as an “us versus them” entity, or are they really comfortable fitting into a society that profits from exploiting thinness? How does the health food craze fit into the reality of those who are overweight?
Those are some weighty questions (excuse the pun!). They certainly are too significant to be ignored because the answers show that overweight people often see a stark difference between themselves and the world around them. That difference is based on a lot more than body weight.
Everywhere we turn, we see advertisements touting lean, sexy bodies. The message is clear: To be sexy, you need to look like this. To be attractive, you need to look like a pinup girl, or worse yet, to be worthy of someone’s attention, your body must meet a certain mold. Those ads are intimidating, and they do separate overweight people from the rest of society. As a result, they categorize them into an unhealthy, unattractive group.
Do heavy people envy thinner people? Yes! Even if we can’t admit it to ourselves, the green monster is there, watching people live the lives we wish we were living. We seek inclusion into what we perceive their world to be—more exciting, enticing, and deserving than the world we’ve created for ourselves. Did I say deserving? Yes, I did. Not only do overweight people condemn themselves because of their weight, but they also use their weight to justify the fact that they don’t deserve the same happiness, love, and advantages they see in their slimmer counterparts. That is so untrue, by the way.
Because of my weight, I isolated myself from the world, choosing to protect myself from participating in it. It seemed that when I did participate, I often felt like an outsider looking in. Actually, you could say that I felt like more of an observer than a full-fledged member of the groups I engaged in. One of the main reasons for this is the belief I held that people were always judging me, and in a negative way, simply because I was fat.
Society frowns upon people who are overweight. They aren’t accepted as easily or readily as healthy weight people. I knew that because, like so many others, I was a victim of it. I was a victim of my own judgments, as well as those of the people around me. The media makes us think that we are the minority—that the majority of the people in our world are thin and sexy. However, the opposite is quite possibly the truth. The number of overweight people in this country are significant. While we perceive ourselves to be alone, we most definitely are not.
Overweight people also have a vivid imagination. They often view the world entirely different than the one which they live in. Like separating the men from the boys, they place a defining line between fat and skinny. We’re either one or the other; there’s no in between. But, that’s not always true. There are so many people who are on the borderline, somewhere between being “average” and overweight. There are many people who continually go back and forth between one and the other as they lose weight and fall back into old habits only to regain it again. In reality, many people in the world have experienced both sides of the weight scale. If we acknowledged that, maybe we wouldn’t feel so alone. Maybe, just maybe, we wouldn’t be so hard on ourselves.
We also mistakenly believe that everyone, everyone, has negative thoughts about us simply because of our appearance. The truth be told, some do, but everyone doesn’t. Again, we almost set ourselves for a “me against the world” perception, which is one that understandably is impossible to win! By believing that we have so many people and things against us, we set ourselves up for certain defeat.
Are you setting yourself up to be caught in the battle of me against the world? Let me know your thoughts.
