My plunge into brutal, naked honesty caused one astronomical change. For the first time, I took responsibility, total and complete responsibility, for my weight and the control that only I had over it. When I did, I suddenly and finally saw that change was really possible! Now, that revelation didn’t come to me very easily. It took a lot of soul searching and more than a little restraint to keep myself from falling back on the same old excuses to come to that conclusion. There was no one to blame for my weight or for my life, for that matter, except for one person: ME.
I started with the obvious. I was fat. That was a given and something I could and had readily admitted. Then came the next truth, which was probably more important—I was miserable being fat. Then the truths began to fly: I am lazy. I give up too soon. I set unrealistic, unattainable goals. I eat for the wrong reasons. I use food to interrupt my feelings. I use food to numb whatever I’m feeling. I used food to fix whatever is happening at that moment. I eat for comfort. I eat when I’m bored. The list goes on and on.
No revelation was too small or insignificant to write down. Each statement of truth fed right into another. It was like somebody popped a balloon and let it all out. I went through it all and discovered some amazing things about me and who I really was. Seeing myself for my truths was like a breath of fresh air. It was like being freed from the prison I’d trapped myself into so long ago! As a result, I felt what it was like to really accept myself more than I ever had at any point in my entire life. The truth really does set you free!
You can free yourself the same way. Being fat carries with it more than pounds. It burdens your life with limiting and sometimes degrading internal thoughts and beliefs that effect your actions, decisions, and attitude. It weighs you down in more ways than one. In order to free yourself from it, though, you have to internally assess what it is you’re feeling and why.
Start by writing down everything you struggle with. Don’t leave anything out. Full disclosure is very important. Don’t keep any nuggets hidden. After you’ve documented your struggles, move on. What do you dislike, or even think you might hate, about yourself, your life, and your body? Don’t limit it to weight issues, include all your self truths. Be honest to the core of your being. How do you truly feel about where you are in your life? How do you really feel about your body and your health? Do you like the things you do and the way you do things? Why or why not? How do you feel about the things you say to yourself? Do you like your inner voice? Dig deeper and delve into your values and beliefs. Leave no holes barred. Now is the time for you to expose the whole enchilada!
Okay, so that probably wasn’t the best phrase. After all, we’re trying to make food less important in your life. But right now, lighten up. This is the time to free yourself up, not beat yourself up! Make this exercise fun. It can be, you know. Believe me, being honest with yourself can be a very freeing experience. Think about how much your life is burdened by the past and the “stories” we’ve told ourselves that hold us back from becoming the person we truly want to be. Then think about how awesome it will be to release all of that! What a load that will take off!
Begin every sentence with “I feel”, “I am” or “I will no longer.” These are just a few examples. Use whatever works for you and let the pages flow as you document the truth about who you are, where you are, and why. You will always have the option of throwing away or destroying these pages at a later date if you feel it’s necessary, so give yourself carte blanche to let the feelings pour out of you onto the page.
